i was serenely independent
and content before we met
surely i could always be that way again
and yet
i've grown accustomed to his looks
accustomed to his voice
accustomed to his face

I Got Lost In His Arms

don't ask me just how it happened
i wish i knew
i can't believe that it's happened
and still it's true

i got lost in his arms, and i had to stay
it was dark in his arms, and i lost my way
from the dark came a voice, and it seemed to say:
"there you go, there you go"

how i felt, as i fell, i just can't recall
but his arms held me fast and it broke the fall
and i said to my heart
as it foolishly kept jumping all around:

"i got lost,
but look what i found"

Tú Mi Delirio

siempre tú estás conmigo, en mi tristeza
estás en mi alegría y en mi sufrir
porque en tí se encierra toda mi vida
si no estoy contigo, mi bien, no soy felíz

es pasión, delirio de estar contigo
y yo soy dichoso, mi bien
porque me quieres también

All alone in a faceless crowd

I was never a fan of Hanson (okay fine maaaybe a closet fan but that was a long time ago haha) but their song 'Weird' is particularly good I think. I like this line:

when you live in a cookie-cutter world being different is a sin
so you dont stand out and you dont fit in

everything is not broken - john mayer

that autumn leaves fall dry and sweet
tells me everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
if everything's not fine
if everything's not fine

that nature rains on flames we made
should tell you everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
if everything's not fine
if everything's not fine

that you could be, oh here with me
tells me everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
if everything's not fine
if everything's not fine

more weddings then funerals in time, in time
if everything's not fine
'cause everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
everything will be fine
everything will be fine

mirage

foot's on the pedal
but who's in the driver's seat?

no I'm not color blind / i know the world is black and white / try to keep an opened mind I just can't sleep on this tonight / stop this train I want to get out and go home again / i can't take the speed it's moving in

stop this train
- john mayer

Good Friday

"Why" by Nichole Nordeman

Full lyrics to the song

The Cross did not happen to Jesus. He came on purpose for it.

The center of salvation is the Cross of Jesus, and the reason it is so easy to obtain salvation is because it cost God so much. The Cross is the point where God and sinful man merge with a crash and the way to life is opened - but the crash is on the heart of God.

- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Still

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

-Reuben Morgan, Hillsong

N/B= The song is on my sidebar, above the tagboard.

Journey

by Corrinne May

It's a long, long journey til I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long, long journey and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long, long journey til I find my way home to You

Many days I've spent drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose, wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter, I know I will cry
I know You'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey and I need to be close to You

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I dont even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up til I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

Cos it's a long, long journey til I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary beneath the stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control

Cos it's a long, long journey til I find my way home to You

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
And what's on the other side
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see
Someday we'll find, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

All of us, under its spell
we know that it's probably magic...

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm supposed to be
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me

Both sides, now

- Joni Mitchell

Bows and flows of angel hair, and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev'rywhere, I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on ev'ryone
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusion I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds; I've looked at life that way
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained in living ev'ry day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Spring can really hang you up the most

Heard this song by Jane Monheit on Pandora today. And it occurred to me how in some ways this song would have been so appropriate to my own little love affair last year which lasted but til the end of Spring, heh. d=

Once I was a sentimental thing
threw my heart away each spring
Now a spring romance
hasn't got a chance
Promised my first dance to winter
All I've got to show is a splinter
for my little fling.

Spring this year has got me feeling
like a horse that never left the post
I lie in my room
staring up at the ceiling
Spring can really hang you up the most.

Morning's kiss wakes trees and flowers
and to them I'd like to drink a toast
But I walk in the park
just to kill the lonely hours
Spring can really hang you up the most.

All afternoon the birds twitter-twitt
I know the tune. This is love, this is it
Heard it before
and I don't know the score
And I've decided that spring is a bore.

Love seems sure around the new year
Now it's April - love is just a ghost
Spring arrived on time
only what became of you, dear?
Spring can really hang you up the most.
Spring can really hang you up the most.

Love came my way, I thought it would last
We had our day, now it's all in the past
Spring came along, a season of song
Full of sweet promise
but something went wrong.

Doctors once prescribed a tonic
Sulfur and molasses was the dose
Didn't help one bit
My condition must be chronic
Spring can really hang you up the most.

All alone, the party is over
Old man winter was a gracious host
But when you keep praying
for snow to hide the clover
Spring can really hang you up the most.

They just don't write lyrics like this anymore these days. I've always wondered how people write such REAL lyrics and still be able to make them RHYME. For me, it's always either one or the other. Or neither. Lol.

P/S= Not to be taken too seriously, this post. (=

Mid-May syndrome

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go

Home. Papa, Mommy, Hau-kor and Ning. Lazy evenings spent at Wai Gong's watching Wah Lai Toi. Wai Po's deep fried pork fats cooked especially for her pork-starved granddaughter. My Petrof piano. The cold marble floor that's so inviting to step onto after coming in from the sweltering midday heat. Dragging myself out of bed on Saturday mornings to eat pork noodles at the Chinese Town Hall with Mommy. Hot chu cheong fun tapau-ed home lovingly by Papa. Going to DUMC with Hau-kor and the chats we have on the way there. Ning's more-than-occassional thoughtful little treats of fried potato sticks she buys from school just for me. The KL skyline by night. Cruising down the KL-Ampang elevated highway listening to Light&Easy. Natalie and Ashley. Driving out to Kampung Baharu with mommy just to buy some Malay kuih for teatime. Khai Ma's weekly drop-by's to chat while waiting to pick Jane, Amelia or Eugene up from tuition. That delicious feeling of relief you get when you step into an air-conditioned shop after being out in the hot sun. Browsing to my heart's content at MPH and Kinokuniya. Brunch at OUG with Ah Yee's family. Lazing around at Ah Yee's place in Seri Petaling reading Tracy's inexhaustible supply of Seventeen mag, lol. Discussing the latest fashion fads with Ah Yee and Tracy. Garlic cheese naan at Steven's Corner with a hot cup of teh tarik. Curling up on my favourite couch with a good book while listening to Light&Easy on the almost-vintage family radio. Falling asleep on the couch with the dim lights on. Tinkling on the piano whenever I feel like it. Afternoon naps that last 3 hours. Watching MTV alone at midnight while the whole family is fast asleep. Shopping. Bintang Walk in all its glamour and trendiness. Admiring the swanky hotels on the way there. Tom yam at the Thai lady's shop in Perting village. Solemn Sunday services at CMC Bentong that turn into a lively family reunion by the end of service. Agape feast every first Sunday of the month. Feeling like I belong in church. Being pampered and treated like a princess (for the first few weeks at least). Not wishing I was somewhere else.

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmm, I've got to go home..

In the meantime

Dolly Parton once said, if you want to see rainbows, you gotta put up with a little bit of rain. How very true, for what is victory if it is not first seasoned by conquered obstacles. A victory that comes easy is almost no victory at all.

It's not everyday that you see with crystal clearness the purpose of it all, it's not everyday that you feel motivated and even able. But everyday He is our very present help. Everyday His love and mercies never fail. Everyday He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Everyday He is Jehovah Jireh who provides.

Life is like a weather forecast. Light showers, partially cloudy. Sun along with patchy clouds. Mostly cloudy. Showers early becoming a steady light rain later in the day. Scattered thunderstorms. Sunny.

So even if you foresee unpleasant weather ahead, keep pushing on. You gotta go through it to get past it. And in the meantime, keep praisin' God, keep praisin' God.

God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
"My glorious!"
-Martin Smith and Stu G of Delirious?

Latest song on 'Repeat-One' on my winamp

"Don't Explain" - Herbie Hancock feat. Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan. (originally by Billie Holiday)

Hush now, don't explain
There ain't nothing to gain
[Just say you'll remain]
I'm glad you're back
Don't explain

Quiet, baby, don't explain
You know there ain't nothing to gain
Skip that lipstick
Don't explain

You know that I love you
And what love endures
[And that love endures]
All my thoughts are of you
For I'm so completely yours

Don't wanna hear nobody chatter
[Cry to hear folks chatter]
Cos I know you cheat
Right or wrong don't matter
When you're with me, sweet

Hush now, don't explain
You are my joy and you're my pain
My life's yours love
So don't explain

Such a haunting song... you can tell just from the words. I think Lisa Hannigan's voice really suits the tone and mood of the song. Oh and that piano-cello instrumental bit... sends shivers down me spine! Can a person be so totally 'into' another person that he/she would overlook the other person's sins, even his/her infidelity? Is that what they call 'sweet sorrow'? Lol.

It is a Saturday night.

I sit here listening to Oleta Adams on 'Get Here', wishing you were here, somehow. I know it wouldn't be right, but I wish you were here.

There's so much I want to tell you. About the poor whale that died on the Thames. About how when it rains the droplets of water sit on the top of my head like a thousand little shards of glass. About how my heart leaped for joy when I opened the front door this morning and was greeted by the sun, cheerful and generous with its rays. The same one that shined upon two people walking in Hyde Park one breezy autumn's day. About my sister growing up so, and me only being able to witness from afar. I want to tell you I bought Crunchy Nut cereal bars at Sainsbury's today - did you know they have chocolate ones as well?

Every day there's something new I want to tell you, to share with you. And most days I hold back. Some days I'm glad it's turned out this way. Some days I just don't know.

Some days you feel so close to me. Other days, so far away.

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can't say what's going on
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
["Cannonball" - Damien Rice]

2006 - A Dedication

If I were to have but one new year's resolution, let it be that I choose to follow Jesus every step of the way.

May the words of my mouth
And the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day
And the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision
Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light, and the way
And I'll look not for riches
Nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first in my heart

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

('May the words of my mouth' - Tim Hughes)

O Lord God, who has called us, Your servants,
To ventures of which we cannot see the ending,
By paths as yet untrodden,
And through perils unknown,
GIve us faith to go out with good courage,
Not knowing where we go
But only that Your hand is leading us
And Your love is supporting us. Amen.

December

St. Patrick's Day
- John Mayer

Here comes the cold
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own
You - enter you
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue

Who knows what will be
But I'll make you this guarantee

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time

In the dark, on the phone
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favourite colours
I'm learning you
And when it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky
Like children do
I'll say to you

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrick's Day

We should take a ride tonight around the town
And look around at all the beautiful houses
Something in the way the blue lights on a black night
Can make you feel more
Everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
Just like you and me

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine

And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I'll be alright if it was just 'til St. Patrick's Day
___________________________

Listening to this song gives me the cruising-down-the-Ampang-KL-elevated-highway-at-night-overlooking-the-KL-skyline
-all-warm-and-cosy-in-a-nonexistent-boyfriend's-car vibes... not sure if you get what I mean. Lol.

What a lazy and blissfully laid-back holiday it has been so far - just the way I like it best. (= Am one-thirds through Ian McEwan's Atonement, been to Blyth centre twice, and have watched three movies - The Wizard of Oz, Serendipity and Sleepless in Seattle. I found the latter two movies quite similar in essence - you know, the whole destiny/soulmate/following your heart and seizing opportunities in love thing. Somehow Sleepless in Seattle wasn't quite as engaging and moving the second time watching it as compared to the first time I saw it (which was quite a number of years ago). I suppose age, experience and perhaps a tinge of cynicism? - have something to do with it. How can two people who've never spoken a word beyond 'Hello' to each other, possibly fall in love without even so much as knowing each other's names? Though these movies are undoubtedly heartwarming, I feel they kind of dilute the meaning of love - giving the illusion that love is all magic and sparks; that given the right time and place, by some incomprehensible cosmic arrangement of things everything will just fall into place and hey presto! - the perfect romance. When in fact, isn't love really more than just a feeling? Correct me if I'm wrong (being the noob that I am at these things..) but love is a decision and a commitment you make, no? I am a self-confessed sucker for these kind of feel-good romance movies and though I think I've got my feet firmly planted to the ground and have enough good sense in me (well, I OUGHT to be, after all...), at times I fear that these misrepresentations of love may somehow get carved into my subconscious... *gulp*

But oh, what the heck... I'm not going to let that stop me from grabbing a roll of (toilet) tissue and watching When Harry Met Sally, now am I? *chuckles*

P/S= The toilet tissue is for me to blow my mucous-infested nose into as I'm catching a cold, and not to cry into. A-TISHOO!!!!!! Bless me. (=

Get Here

- Oleta Adams

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

You can reach me by sail boat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer

You can windsurf into my life, take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon, but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

I don't care how you get here, just -- get here if - you can

More Faithful Than I

Music and words by Lincoln Brewster

Even though I get off track
Lord, Your faithfulness never dies
Even though I turn my back
Lord, Your faithfulness never dies

You'll always be by my side
With Your arms open wide
I've not a need You won't provide
Lord, You're so much more faithful than I
Lord, You're so much more faithful than I

Even when I am full of doubt
Lord, Your faithfulness never dies
You pick me up and You pour me out
Lord, Your faithfulness never dies

You'll always be by my side
With Your arms open wide
I've not a need You won't provide
Lord, You're so much more faithful than I
Lord, You're so much more faithful than I

Lord I'm grateful
That You're so much more faithful
You're so much more faithful
You're so much more faithful than I