Good Friday

"Why" by Nichole Nordeman

Full lyrics to the song

The Cross did not happen to Jesus. He came on purpose for it.

The center of salvation is the Cross of Jesus, and the reason it is so easy to obtain salvation is because it cost God so much. The Cross is the point where God and sinful man merge with a crash and the way to life is opened - but the crash is on the heart of God.

- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Lighter boots

In Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated), the 9-year old narrator-protagonist Oskar uses the phrase "heavy boots" to describe feelings of depression/nervousness/sadness.

Some things that gave me lighter boots this past week:
Gorgeous sunshiney weather
Kellogs' Crunchy Nut cereal with strawberries and bananas in milk, every morning (=
Molding rabbits out of plasticine
Plans for picnicking-cum-studying sessions in Hyde Park during Easter hols
My "Poem for the Day" book from Sook Meng
________________________________________

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes, but I couldn’t sleep, not after hours, and it made my boots lighter to be around his things, and to touch stuff that he had touched, and to make the hangers hang a little straighter, even though I knew it didn’t matter.
- Jonathan Safran Foer

Third Day Syndrome?

Luke 24:21
"but we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since.."

Spiritual lust makes me demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Who gives the answer. What have I been trusting God would do? And today - the immediate present - is the third day, and He has not done it; therefore I imagine I am justified in being dejected and in blaming God. Whenever the insistence is on the point that God answers prayer, we are off the track. The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not of the answer.

- Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost For His Highest"

But maybe the truth is that, our human tragedy is that we are unable to comprehend our experience, it slips through our fingers, we can't hold on to it, and the more time passes, the harder it gets... My father said that the natural world gave us explanations to compensate for the meanings we could not grasp. The slant of the cold sunlight on a winter pine, the music of water, an oar cutting the lake and the flight of birds, the mountains' nobility, the silence of the silence. We are given life but must accept that it is unattainable and rejoice in what can be held in the eye, the memory, the mind.

Salman Rushdie, "Shalimar the Clown"

Yesterday

"The God of Israel will be your rear guard." Isaiah 52:12

Security from Yesterday. "God requireth that which is past." At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise from remembering the yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God's grace is apt to be checked by the memory of yesterday's sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them in order to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual culture for the future. God reminds us of the past lest we get into a shallow security in the present.

Security for Tomorrow. "For the Lord will go before you." This is a gracious revelation, that God will garrison where we have failed to. He will watch lest things trip us up again into like failure, as they assuredly would do if He were not our rear guard. God's hand reaches back to the past and makes a clearing-house for conscience.

Security for Today. "For ye shall not go out with haste." As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, unremembering delight, nor with the flight of impulsive thoughtlessness, but with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ.

- Oswald Chambers in "My Utmost for His Highest"

2006

And memory was not madness was it, not even when the remembered past piled up so high inside you that you feared the files of your yesterdays would become visible in the whites of your eyes. Memory was a gift. It was a positive.

- Salman Rushdie in "Shalimar the Clown"

The Gospel of the grace of God awakens an intense longing in human souls and an equally intense resentment, because the revelation which it brings is not palatable. There is a certain pride in man that will give and give, but to come and accept is another thing. I will give myself in consecration, I will do anything, but do not humiliate me to the level of the most hell-deserving sinner and tell me that all I have to do is to accept the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.

We have to realize that we cannot earn or win anything from God; we must either receive it as a gift or do without it. The greatest blessing spiritually is the knowledge that we are destitute; until we get there our Lord is powerless. He can do nothing for us if we think we are sufficient of ourselves; we have to enter into His Kingdom through the door of destitution. As long as we are rich, possessed of anything in the way of pride or independence, God cannot do anything for us. It is only when we get hungry spiritually that we receive the Holy Spirit.

- Oswald Chambers

For you

Faith by its very nature must be tried, and the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character has to be cleared in our own minds. Never confound the trial of faith with the ordinary discipline of life, much that we call the trial of faith is the inevitable result of being alive. Faith in the Bible is faith in God against everything that contradicts Him - "I will remain true to God's character whatever He may do". (excerpt from "My Utmost For His Highest")

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Job 13:15

The Prayer of Jehoshaphat

2 Chronicles 20

O Lord God of our Fathers, are You not God in heaven, and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations, and in Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You? ...for we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.

And thus saith the Lord:
"Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's."

"In the train of a Conqueror, it does not matter what the difficulties are, I am always led in triumph." - Oswald Chambers

Mountaintops and valleys

We are not built for the mountains and the dawns and aesthetic affinities, those are for moments of inspiration, that is all. We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle. ... The height of the mountain top is measured by the drab drudgery of the valley; but it is in the valley that we live for the glory of God. We see His glory on the mount, but we never live for His glory there. It is in the sphere of humiliation that we find our true worth to God, that is where our faithfulness is revealed. Most of us can do things if we are always at the heroic pitch because of the natural selfishness of our hearts, but God wants us at the drab commonplace pitch, where we live in the valley according to our personal relationship to Him.

- Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost For His Highest"

In the meantime

Dolly Parton once said, if you want to see rainbows, you gotta put up with a little bit of rain. How very true, for what is victory if it is not first seasoned by conquered obstacles. A victory that comes easy is almost no victory at all.

It's not everyday that you see with crystal clearness the purpose of it all, it's not everyday that you feel motivated and even able. But everyday He is our very present help. Everyday His love and mercies never fail. Everyday He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Everyday He is Jehovah Jireh who provides.

Life is like a weather forecast. Light showers, partially cloudy. Sun along with patchy clouds. Mostly cloudy. Showers early becoming a steady light rain later in the day. Scattered thunderstorms. Sunny.

So even if you foresee unpleasant weather ahead, keep pushing on. You gotta go through it to get past it. And in the meantime, keep praisin' God, keep praisin' God.

God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
"My glorious!"
-Martin Smith and Stu G of Delirious?

Being Twenty-Something

Hey everyone. Here's something I chanced upon online yesterday and I thought I'd share it with all of you, cos I found I could SO relate to so much of it, it's almost as if they were my own thoughts! Yikes. Here's the article:

They call it the "Quarter-Life Crisis". It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing it too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute you are insecure and the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

My favourite lines from the movie:

Miss Gulch: Mr. Gale, I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy.
Uncle Henry: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?
Miss Gulch: What she's done? I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg!
Uncle Henry: You mean she bit you?
Miss Gulch: No, her dog!
Uncle Henry: Oh, she bit her dog, eh?
Miss Gulch: No!
______________

(When Dorothy asks the Scarecrow to make up his mind which way she should go)
Scarecrow: That's the trouble. I can't make up my mind. I haven't got a brain. Only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know. Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.
______________

("If I Only Had A Brain")
(Scarecrow)
I could wile away the hours, Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain, And my head I'd be scratchin',
While my thoughts were busy hatchin', If I only had a brain

I'd unravel any riddle, For any individ'le
In trouble or in pain...

(Dorothy)
WIth the thoughts you'll be thinking
you could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain

(Scarecrow)
Oh, I would tell you why, The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thunk before
And then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be just a nuffin', My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain, I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry, If I only had a brain

(Tin Man)
When a man's an empty kettle, He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presumin'
That I could be kind of human. If I only had a heart

I'd be tender, I'd be gentle, And awful sentimental
Regarding love and art, I'd be friends with the sparrows
And the boy that shoots the arrows, If I only had a heart...

Picture me - a balcony. Above a voice sings low.
Wherefore art thou, O Romeo? I hear a beat...
How sweet.
Just to register emotion, jealousy - devotion
And really feel the part.
I could stay young and chipper
and I'd lock it with a zipper,
If I only had a heart.
____________

Lion (sobbing): You're right. I am a coward. I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself. Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks.
Tin Woodsman: Why don't you try counting sheep?
Lion: That doesn't do any good. I'm afraid of 'em.

(Lion)
Yeh, it's sad, believe me, Missy,
When you're born to be a sissy
Without the vim and verve.
But I could show my prowess
Be a lion, not a mowess
If I only had the nerve
I'm afraid there's no denyin'.
I'm just a dandy-lion.
A fate I don't deserve.
I'd be brave as a blizzard...
(Tin Man)
I'd be gentle as a lizard...
(Scarecrow)
I'd be clever as a gizzard...
(All)
If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.
Then I'm sure to get a brain
A heart
A home
The nerve!
_________________

(Dorothy and her three friends on the Yellow Brick Road)
We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
You'll find he is a Whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was,
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does
We're off the see the wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz
__________________

Dorothy: If you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?
Lion: Not nobody, not no how.
Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros.
Lion: Imp-oceros.
Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
Lion: Why I'd thrash him from top to bottom-us.
Dorothy: Supposin' you met an elephant.
Lion: I'd knot him up in cellophant.
Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
Lion: I'd show him who's King of the Forest.
Group: How?
Lion: How? Courage! What makes a King out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the Sphinx the Seventh Wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in ape-ricot? What have they got that I ain't got?
Group: Courage.
Lion: You can say that again. Huh?
___________________

Wizard of Oz: As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
Tin Woodsman: But I still want one.
___________________

(Wizard of Oz, to the Tin Man)
And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
___________________

(Dorothy, in response to Glinda the Good Witch of the North's question as to what she has learnt)
Well, I-I think that it, that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em, and it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard because, if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with. Is that right?
___________________

(Tin Man, to Dorothy, as she prepares to leave Oz)
Tin Woodsman: Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking
___________________

(Dorothy, back home in Kansas)
Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home! (She hugs her dog.) Home! And this is my room - and you're all here! And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again because I love you all! - And oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home.

The Best Thing In The World

What's the best thing in the world?
June-rose, by May-dew impearled;
Sweet south-wind, that means no rain;
Truth, not cruel to a friend;
Pleasure, not in haste to end;
Beauty, not self-decked and curled
Till its pride is over-plain;
Love, when, so, you're loved again.
What's the best thing in the world?
- Something out of it, I think.

from 'Sonnets from the Portuguese' - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

He said not, thou shall not be tempested,
Thou shall not be travailed,
Thou shall not be afflicted.
But He said, thou shall not be overcome.
- Julian of Norwich

I was tired... I don't know why this should have come back now, except that I remembered how good it had felt to do nothing then and sit there resting my puffed-up feet, not caring or worrying over anything else. I'd been tired, but it wasn't the same as the feeling this spring: not the tiredness of long waiting and doing things month after month with no change. Nor was there the weight of all these things - I wished I were ten years younger, or ten older! If I were younger, they would not exist, and older - I could learn to accept them. I wished there were someone I could tell all this to. If it had been told, it would not have weighed me down so much. But I could not tell anyone here and go on living with them, knowing they knew and were thinking about it, staring at me with this in their minds. They would have been kind, I know, but kindness is sour comfort.

-Excerpt from 'Now In November' by Josephine Johnson.