All alone in a faceless crowd

I was never a fan of Hanson (okay fine maaaybe a closet fan but that was a long time ago haha) but their song 'Weird' is particularly good I think. I like this line:

when you live in a cookie-cutter world being different is a sin
so you dont stand out and you dont fit in

Last weekend

So I went to my first jazz gig in KL.

Having had my expectations raised by the fact that the acclaimed jazz chanteuse Anne Weerapass from Singapore would be accompanied by two of Malaysia's most iconic in the scene - Michael Veerapen and Lewis Pragasam, plus the fact that Alexis is reputed to be the jazz venue in the Klang Valley, I guess it was inevitable that I would be let down. The food was disappointing, the sound system left much to be desired, Anne Weerapass' pants were too tight, the music was too loud, too electronic and came off sounding like hotel-lounge-music-only-with-better-vocals. Basically I think I've been spoiled by Ronnie Scott's lah. Lol. Oh and only one bossanova tune was performed that night. )=

Saturday we drove to Bentong - Eng, Em, Chuan, Jin and myself. Pa gave a crash course on 'how to eat your local fruits like a kampung boy/girl'.. we visited Chamang waterfall (it has proven to be an indispensable part of the itinerary whenever friends come to Bentong, haha).. we watched the World Badminton Championships at home.. and other than that we just ate. And ate. And ate.

Yesterday morning I left home at 6am for KL and came straight to work after dropping off my things at my aunt's. It's Tuesday today but I'm still feeling the Monday blues.

everything is not broken - john mayer

that autumn leaves fall dry and sweet
tells me everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
if everything's not fine
if everything's not fine

that nature rains on flames we made
should tell you everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
if everything's not fine
if everything's not fine

that you could be, oh here with me
tells me everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
if everything's not fine
if everything's not fine

more weddings then funerals in time, in time
if everything's not fine
'cause everything is not broken
no everything is not broken
everything will be fine
everything will be fine

Bic Runga - Say After Me

Found a full-length version of this song on Imeem after all, just when I thought I'd never get to listen to the whole song again, after they slashed more than half of the songs on my playlist to 30 seconds. Enjoy!

All that jazz

A mix of upbeat bebop/hardbop ala Miles&Trane and Charlie 'Yardbird' Parker, and soothing ballady numbers by Bill Evans and Stan Getz.

I can't wait for my Stan Getz "Cafe Montmartre" CD which Winston is bringing back for me from U.S. next week!! (=

Good Friday

"Why" by Nichole Nordeman

Full lyrics to the song

The Cross did not happen to Jesus. He came on purpose for it.

The center of salvation is the Cross of Jesus, and the reason it is so easy to obtain salvation is because it cost God so much. The Cross is the point where God and sinful man merge with a crash and the way to life is opened - but the crash is on the heart of God.

- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Both sides, now

- Joni Mitchell

Bows and flows of angel hair, and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev'rywhere, I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on ev'ryone
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusion I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds; I've looked at life that way
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained in living ev'ry day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Spring can really hang you up the most

Heard this song by Jane Monheit on Pandora today. And it occurred to me how in some ways this song would have been so appropriate to my own little love affair last year which lasted but til the end of Spring, heh. d=

Once I was a sentimental thing
threw my heart away each spring
Now a spring romance
hasn't got a chance
Promised my first dance to winter
All I've got to show is a splinter
for my little fling.

Spring this year has got me feeling
like a horse that never left the post
I lie in my room
staring up at the ceiling
Spring can really hang you up the most.

Morning's kiss wakes trees and flowers
and to them I'd like to drink a toast
But I walk in the park
just to kill the lonely hours
Spring can really hang you up the most.

All afternoon the birds twitter-twitt
I know the tune. This is love, this is it
Heard it before
and I don't know the score
And I've decided that spring is a bore.

Love seems sure around the new year
Now it's April - love is just a ghost
Spring arrived on time
only what became of you, dear?
Spring can really hang you up the most.
Spring can really hang you up the most.

Love came my way, I thought it would last
We had our day, now it's all in the past
Spring came along, a season of song
Full of sweet promise
but something went wrong.

Doctors once prescribed a tonic
Sulfur and molasses was the dose
Didn't help one bit
My condition must be chronic
Spring can really hang you up the most.

All alone, the party is over
Old man winter was a gracious host
But when you keep praying
for snow to hide the clover
Spring can really hang you up the most.

They just don't write lyrics like this anymore these days. I've always wondered how people write such REAL lyrics and still be able to make them RHYME. For me, it's always either one or the other. Or neither. Lol.

P/S= Not to be taken too seriously, this post. (=

I think it's going to rain today

1. It's been raining intermittently throughout the day for the past week, not to mention it's a lot gloomier and colder than the preceding week too. )=

2. I am now on a 7-day free trial for Napster which I am going to cancel by the end of the 7 days, not because I'm cheapo and simply wanted to enjoy the free music for one week, but because I discovered that you don't get to keep your music once you cancel membership. And the basic subscription is 9.95 quid a month. I would have seriously considered going for it if not because they won't let me keep the music I download after I decide to stop subscribing.

3. I think I've thus far downloaded like 30 Marvin Gaye songs, 30 Stevie Wonders, 30 Tori Amoses, 20 John Mayers, 20 Rosie Thomases, 20 Katie Meluas, more than a handful of George Bensons, Herbie Hancocks, John Coltranes, Michael Breckers, Diana Kralls, Frank Sinatras, Tony Bennetts, Nina Simones, Oleta Adamses, Sarah McLachlans, Luther Vandrosses, Johnny Hartmans... and two things I've discovered about some of the music I've always liked: 1. In more than a few of Marvin Gaye's songs, there are sounds of people moaning and sighing apparently from a hot love-making (I've always disliked the term "make love" - as if love can be 'made' from lustful desires and pleasurable intimacy) session, and it absolutely grosses me out. (What was that all about huh, Mister Marvin Gaye??) I don't know if he has separate versions of those songs without those 'background noises' though, cos I've never noticed them before this. But seriously, it's super yucky la... it's almost like audio porn or something, if there ever was such a thing... Why do people like to spoil such good music like that?? But anyway, discovery number 2: I don't like Katie Melua after all. Don't like her style.

4. I bought another tub of Ben&Jerry's Dublin Mudslide yesterday... non-promotional *sheepish*.

5. I am eyeing Stevie Wonder's box set "At The Close of a Century" (4CD compilation) which is selling for 26 quid on eBay.co.uk, brand new. I really really really really want it - it has practically every single Stevie Wonder fave of mine with the exception of "I Can Only Be Me", and it comes with a little biographical booklet thingy - it's simply the PERFECT collector's item! I want I want I want! I've asked Eric to check the prices in Malaysia for me *cough* but he hasn't gotten back to me yet....

6. For the past one week or so I've actually been eating healthy, complete, balanced meals at home despite the fact that the five of us don't cook together anymore due to the exam season. People, you can NOT live on pesto and bolognese and Indomie, even if you like them, trust me on that. So, I've cooked chicken rice, roasted chicken, boiled spinach soup, fried 'chow mein', and plus, Melissa made tomyam soup yesterday too. Not exactly the ideal five-servings-of-fruit-and-veg a day but I'm sure Mommy would be pleased to hear anyway. Lol. Might wanna boil ABC soup one of these days too. (=

7. Oh! Oh! And how could I forget!! We've signed the contract for our flat next year - whoooppee! It's at this quiet (well, relative to the ever-bustling Cromwell Road) little road just parallel to Cromwell Road, called Emperor's Gate. Charlotte's place last year. We've got the nicest and cosiest little kitchen, with a dining table that comes with long benches on both sides - so nice! Only disadvantage - and it's only a slight disadvantage which I don't mind living with - is that I'll be sharing a bunk bed again. Oh, and it seems Alan is doomed to live in the basement for his entire university life or something.... hahaha. d=

Okaylah.. that's all for now, folks. Back to my books!

Why

performed by Nicole Nordeman



Full lyrics to the song

"See from His head, His hands, His feet,
sorrow and love flow mingled down.
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,
or thorns compose so rich a crown?"
- Isaac Watts

Scaramouche! Scaramouche!

Will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me!
Galileo, galileo! Galileo, galileo!

Hahahaha... Just a short post to say I had a whale of a time at my first karaoke session in London yesterday (about time too...) with Chuan, Zhon Wei, Guan, Emily and Daniel. The songs I enjoyed the most were the ones we (or should I say, Chuan and Guan d=) sang most badly, i.e. the above Bohemian Rhapsody, Meatloaf's I'd Do Anything For Love and When You Believe. Yes indeed, and with the most amazing ad libbing and improvisation by our three in-house trying-too-hard male divas - stomach-ripping-ly hilarious, I tell you. Let's do it again, guys! (=

Latest song on 'Repeat-One' on my winamp

"Don't Explain" - Herbie Hancock feat. Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan. (originally by Billie Holiday)

Hush now, don't explain
There ain't nothing to gain
[Just say you'll remain]
I'm glad you're back
Don't explain

Quiet, baby, don't explain
You know there ain't nothing to gain
Skip that lipstick
Don't explain

You know that I love you
And what love endures
[And that love endures]
All my thoughts are of you
For I'm so completely yours

Don't wanna hear nobody chatter
[Cry to hear folks chatter]
Cos I know you cheat
Right or wrong don't matter
When you're with me, sweet

Hush now, don't explain
You are my joy and you're my pain
My life's yours love
So don't explain

Such a haunting song... you can tell just from the words. I think Lisa Hannigan's voice really suits the tone and mood of the song. Oh and that piano-cello instrumental bit... sends shivers down me spine! Can a person be so totally 'into' another person that he/she would overlook the other person's sins, even his/her infidelity? Is that what they call 'sweet sorrow'? Lol.

Jamie Cullum at Hammersmith Apollo

[Edit: Because Winston's photos were so nice, I decided to add some of his to this blogpost (= Thank you Wincy!]

What a night! One of the best surprises 2006 has presented me so far is finding out on the night itself that our seats were in the third row of the stalls, all the way up in front, and not upstairs in the Circle area, as I had all along thought! Indescribable, the feeling. The grand piano was barely 10 metres away from me and when Jamie came to stand in the front of the stage I could ALMOST reach out and touch him! Almost, if I tried hard enough, lol. d= I had an absolutely fantastic time, the crowd was much more enthusiastic and alive than the Royal Albert Hall one (stuffy old working class men in suits... bah). The music - nothing less than spectacular. He did a cover of The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army, which was pretty darn impressive because he performed the whole song - vocals, keys, bass, percussions, beatbox - all by himself, by recording the latter three parts separately and looping them while singing and playing the piano. Oh, and when he sang 'I'm Glad There Is You', I could have died of awe, I tell you. Lol. Looking back at the photos on my camera, I find it hard to believe that they were taken by me, on my humble Nikon Coolpix 3700.... *happy sigh* (=

Post-Boxing Day

.... and the first snow has fallen in London! (=

I practically jumped out of bed (mind you, I sleep on the top bunk of a double-decker bed) and rushed to my window, eyes still barely open, when I got a text from a friend telling me about the snow. It lasted only for about half an hour but BBC says it's going to snow some more in the days to come and BBC you had better not let me down!!!

Was planning to drop by Blyth today cos I borrowed a book of Schubert piano pieces from the Central Library and my fingers are itching to play that Sonata in A Major... and what with the thought of walking in the falling snow... But then by the time I wanted to get dressed it had stopped snowing and I got a bit lazy so here I am typing this blogpost. I spent quite a bit of time this morning adding pictures, tickets and other mementos and whatnots into the photo scrapbook I got for Christmas. Come to think of it, the scrapbook was really quite a timely gift, for you wouldn't believe the amount of junk and odds-and-ends I keep in a big Natwest envelope - everything from tickets to notes to receipts to cards to random cut-out scenery shots... and I haven't even begun to tell you about the junk that's in my wallet and bags. Mostly stuff that hold even the slightest hint of memories or nostalgia and I haven't got the heart to throw away. I am quite the lap-sap por. Lol.

The Boxing Day sales on High Street Kensington were quite disappointing. But in a way that's good cos I know I REALLY need to control my spending after the few shopping sprees I indulged in last month... Yesterday I only bought a pair of earrings for two pounds fifty - can you believe that? Lol.

December

St. Patrick's Day
- John Mayer

Here comes the cold
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own
You - enter you
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue

Who knows what will be
But I'll make you this guarantee

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time

In the dark, on the phone
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favourite colours
I'm learning you
And when it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky
Like children do
I'll say to you

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrick's Day

We should take a ride tonight around the town
And look around at all the beautiful houses
Something in the way the blue lights on a black night
Can make you feel more
Everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
Just like you and me

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine

And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I'll be alright if it was just 'til St. Patrick's Day
___________________________

Listening to this song gives me the cruising-down-the-Ampang-KL-elevated-highway-at-night-overlooking-the-KL-skyline
-all-warm-and-cosy-in-a-nonexistent-boyfriend's-car vibes... not sure if you get what I mean. Lol.

What a lazy and blissfully laid-back holiday it has been so far - just the way I like it best. (= Am one-thirds through Ian McEwan's Atonement, been to Blyth centre twice, and have watched three movies - The Wizard of Oz, Serendipity and Sleepless in Seattle. I found the latter two movies quite similar in essence - you know, the whole destiny/soulmate/following your heart and seizing opportunities in love thing. Somehow Sleepless in Seattle wasn't quite as engaging and moving the second time watching it as compared to the first time I saw it (which was quite a number of years ago). I suppose age, experience and perhaps a tinge of cynicism? - have something to do with it. How can two people who've never spoken a word beyond 'Hello' to each other, possibly fall in love without even so much as knowing each other's names? Though these movies are undoubtedly heartwarming, I feel they kind of dilute the meaning of love - giving the illusion that love is all magic and sparks; that given the right time and place, by some incomprehensible cosmic arrangement of things everything will just fall into place and hey presto! - the perfect romance. When in fact, isn't love really more than just a feeling? Correct me if I'm wrong (being the noob that I am at these things..) but love is a decision and a commitment you make, no? I am a self-confessed sucker for these kind of feel-good romance movies and though I think I've got my feet firmly planted to the ground and have enough good sense in me (well, I OUGHT to be, after all...), at times I fear that these misrepresentations of love may somehow get carved into my subconscious... *gulp*

But oh, what the heck... I'm not going to let that stop me from grabbing a roll of (toilet) tissue and watching When Harry Met Sally, now am I? *chuckles*

P/S= The toilet tissue is for me to blow my mucous-infested nose into as I'm catching a cold, and not to cry into. A-TISHOO!!!!!! Bless me. (=

My plans for Christmas 2005

Download and watch tonnes of movies. Gone With The Wind. The Wizard of Oz. You've Got Mail. Love Actually. Kill Bill. Kill Bill 2. When Harry Met Sally. Sleepless In Seattle. Oh and of course, Narnia and Memoirs of a Geisha in the cinema. (=

Memorise all my Jamie Cullum lyrics for his next London gig... muahahaha... (As a side note: I now have three editions of Twentysomething - the UK release, the Australian release and newest to the list is the Special Edition with four bonus tracks!)

Drown myself in Herbie Hancock.

Force someone... anyone... to go with me to the Natural History or Science or Victoria & Albert Museum, or all three. Hehe.

Get the 'A Blossom Fell' piano transcriptions printed out and perfect it by the end of the Christmas break!! If I'm not in my room, look for me in Ensemble Room 3 at the Blyth Music Centre... haha...

Make a trip to Kensington Chimes and browse music sheets to my heart's content! (=

Build snowmen and snowpenguins if that's even possible...

Have emo "Cheong-K" sessions with Zhon and Jin Rong upstairs!

Bake something other than moist chocolate cake..... *sheepishly*

Study Heat Transfer and Economics.

Go Cardiff to see my beloved Sook Meng!!!

Cullum frenzy

I'm going to try and make this as plain and as simple as is possible (for I have admittedly gushed enough in the past couple of days to various victims whose responses varied from envy to indifference to amusement to excitement): I had the time of my life on Tuesday night watching Jamie Cullum perform live at Royal Albert Hall and have never been more convinced of his talent than I now am. It was THE BOMB! My favourite songs of the night: Mind Trick, These Are The Days, I'm Glad There Is You, Fascinating Rhythm, I Get A Kick Out Of You, Nature Boy, If Only I Had A Brain.

Some photos taken from www.jamiecullum.com


Said it many times before, but the hours and the days are zooming past at breakneck speed, it seems one day you are experiencing Monday blues, and the next, it's the weekend already even before you can say Jack Sprat. It's crazy.

Second year Maple is underway and making slow but sure progress. Got stood up three times by my coursework partner who by the way has done next to no work at all nor given me any feedback on the work I've done and sent to him (am I so nice and forgiving and kind that people don't even hesitate to take advantage of me??). But it's alright. Maybe his dog died. Maybe someone sabotaged his alarm clock. Maybe he trips and falls and hurts himself real bad each time he steps out of his house. I'll let him have the benefit of the doubt. Lol. d= There are so many deadlines to meet in the next two weeks, that I don't know how I can still afford to play Minesweeper and Solitaire, go shopping, take unnecessary afternoon naps and go for unnecessary (though informative and interesting) debates on euthanasia. And that said, 'not have time' to go for cell group and Christian Union, vacuum the apartment, clear all the hair on the toilet floor or cook myself a decent lunch on weekdays. Look who's got a problem with priorities, *sigh*.

And again... *SIGH*.

All along, but ever more so lately, I find such fulfilment and joy in solitude - at times even to the point of being anti-social (i.e. actually dreading the thought of having company). I wonder why. It's not that I am a very introverted kind of person or do not have many friends. It's not like I'm depressed or anything like that (really, my dear, I'm not (.=). There aren't very many places I could run away to here in London except the piano room in Blythe Centre. I would take a solitary walk to nowhere... grab a book and my mp3 player and solo-picnic in Kensington Gardens... but for some reason I've never gotten down to actually doing it. Yet at the same time I yearn for the company of just one person - one person with whom silence is comfortable, but conversation even more uplifting. In my lifetime I have met a special two or three people whom when I talk to them, it just feels like coming home, somehow. The ease in conversation, the confident knowledge of that other person's presence and listening ear (or typing fingers for that matter) - it does so much more than one would imagine it could. Such is the power and beauty of a spiritual-emotional connection that goes beyond mere friendship... I miss and love you, you know that. *hugs* (=

Oh I don't know. Could be the side effects of an overdose of mellow jazz lyrics - or perhaps hormonal imbalance? - don't worry about me anyhow. (=

God Will Make A Way

My tagboard is up again. =) And here's an old old Don Moen song that came to my mind when I was reading a passage from Isaiah 43:

Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.