I am a lean mean phlegm-producing machine

Is it true that if you block your nostrils while sneezing, the pressure build-up inside your head is large enough to puncture your eardrums? I am getting Happy Tree Friends images in my head right now..

Auntie says I'm to pay the doctor a visit tonight after work. About time, really. I'd put off going to see the doctor for my cold and cough for almost a week now but Tuesday I could no longer ignore the symptoms so I excused myself from work during lunchtime, went home and hit the sack. Yesterday I took the entire day off. My regret is not going to see the doctor earlier, cos then I'd be able to officially take a few days of sick leave rather than look like I'm skiving. What's the point of going to see the doctor now when it's the beginning of the long weekend and I won't be getting an MC? )= Anyhoo. I've been drugging myself to sleep with some very potent flu pills and expectorant which my cousin Darren didn't finish when he fell ill last month, but the medication's making me feel even weaker. This flu is really really tiresome.

Won't you sail home soon?