Jaded

the darkness hangs in the sky, looming
like a bad omen
come too soon
too early.
the wind caresses
it chills her to the bone; but numb -
numb to the cold
numb to the pain
numb to the weariness
of a long-drawn day and
a long-awaited closure

as she treads along she sees not
hears not
the sights and the sounds-
the fluorescent blur and the distorted siren
passes by.
passers-by.
out of focus; time distance position disappear
lost
in a world of her own make-believe.
and she imagines:

someone to take the weight off her shoulders
someone whose arms
to run into, safe and warm
someone whose loving embrace
and sympathetic smile
would lift off the veil
of desperation that hangs like that darkness in the sky

someone who would question not. criticise not.
someone whose hand would enclose hers
and say words that no words could say - but only with a touch
and make everything
alright.
all alright

you could be that someone
did i let you go
only to be left
empty
and longing
yet,
could she live with that burden, or
could she numb herself to the nagging
of her ever-present conscience
like how she numbed herself
to the cold?

-jh-