And another chapter closes

This trip to Barcelona and the longggg summer break at home, away from everyone and everything that has been a source of stress to me, will certainly do me good. I know that some lessons in life are to be learnt the hard way, no use in complaining and whining and feeling sorry for myself. I need to really turn back to God 100%, and I know this will strike many of you as strange and unexpected from me, because I don't seem to have even turned away from God at all, you may think. But the fact is, inside of me, some changes have taken place ever since I embarked on that 4-month long (short?) relationship. No, I didn't forsake my faith, I didn't fall into any 'big' sins, but in other ways I have denied His supremity and sovereignty over my life. Like when I depended more on the relationship for security, than I did on Him.

I need some time off to think and re-evaluate my attitude towards relationships and singlehood. Reading some online Christian commentaries on romantic relationships as well as personal experiences of other people, has reminded me that I am COMPLETE in Him, I do not need a 'significant other' to complete me. These things I have always always known and always believed in. When did that change? And why? Feelings feelings feelings... God didn't give me a brain for nothing. If and when I am ever to be in a relationship again, I must know that it is from God. But for now, I need to learn how to be single again. Learn how to be an individual.

I'm not bad-mouthing anyone, not blaming anyone here. Because I know that God allowed all this to happen to me for a reason, it is all in His plan for me. And His plan will always, in the end, prove to be the good, perfect and pleasing will that it has promised to be. I pray also that He will bless you and be close to you.