:-(

One of the worst feelings in the world is when you're hurting inside, and you badly want to let it out, but there's no one there to let it out to. You try to keep it in, try to supress it but all it does is make you hurt even more. To the point where you feel you could just cry, right there and then, in front of everyone. You may seem cheerful, bright, altogether normal - but noone knows how torn up and wretched and broken hearted you are on the inside.

And then there are times when you suddenly realise you're looking stoned, and people may suspect something and ask you. Instantly a smile appears on your face - you 'lighten up'. It's all bullshit, I tell you.

I really hate feeling like that, I do. I hate having to pretend, having to put up that facade.

At times like these, my greatest greatest comfort is in knowing that God knows, and He understands. Completely. What's more is, he still loves me despite knowing every nasty little thing about me. God never rejects. Being able to rely on God's unfailing love (when other people's love may not always be dependable) - there is simply no greater comfort than that.

At times like these, I honestly don't know what I'd do without Him.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. - 1 John 4:16

p/s= I know some of you are gonna find this post quite depressive on my part, but really, I'm okay. So no need to message or call or email or anything to 'check on me' - I'm fine. :-) Just needed to let it out, that's all. Ain't that serious at all, really. Nothing to worry about.